Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Second Best

I am only second best.
This is the firm handshake
only seen behind the back.
No one is proud enough to hold you perfectly,
and everywhere you look something is held above you.

We were only second best.
The silver under a tounge
who's owner flaunts gold.
It will begin to kill you inside
when knowing everyone you hold dear
only has seen you as an option.
Your sister, your mother, your ex lover
Your friends, your neighbors...
all talk of something far better
and we were misunderstood.

Nothing really compares to what true love can offer
but in visual comparison
we are too bold.
That silver shines too much light
so we tend to blind the hopeless
until they cannot see.

They all fumble
with squinting eyes
tailgating shadows
of golden ghost faced heirophants
whispering words to the masses
who tend to nod their heads
as if they never had any other choice.
But behind the drama,
and the curtains of solidarity
a time for the ones who have tried their best still remains.
Push us forward when you realize
all who have everything never appreciate
and those who work the hardest seem to always have nothing at all.

Throw out your golden crown.
The biggest prize is my beating chest
of muddled earth and unattractive truth.
Tarnished and forgotten about.
Spoken of
only to prove a time that I actually did exist.
It's not pretty.
Gold won't always shine either.

This is reality
and first prize is just a glamorous show to hide behind when you know something deep down.
After the picketed white fences and trophy wives.....
After the beauty of young faces wrinkle...
When no one shows up when you're dieing,
and all that's fantastic presently dulls to an indifferent cycle...
I am still a polished second place holding what you had never won.
You should be jealous.



Thursday, November 12, 2015

Lynn

That woman embodied everything I wanted to be...

She had rings on her fingers
and bells on her toes.
A shoulder for when I had been thinking
while dancing in funky pantyhose.
When I saw she loved life
like so many true souls do
losses were forgotten
and I could never be blue.

We dance like interpreters
of courageous star light
when darkness exists
long after the night.
Blessed is dear Lynn
that keeps myself standing tall.
A friend forever
telling me to stand instead of fall.
Despite when I shouldn't be proud:
acting of nuisance and crying aloud.
That's the woman I wanted to be,
when these swollen eyes can barely see.
She's my best friend
always
when all nonsense is ever present there.
Thank my Celtic wisdom heir.
When mothers and sisters turned out to be none,
thank god for Lynn,
A love I finally won.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Pillow

Pull in the pillow tighter.
It hasn't a name but you can give it one.
Comforting asylums you build yourself will hold you over until the morning.
I will pull you in tight.
I kept on dreaming with eyes wide open.
We are all loving and destitution these days, and my resolution says that this pain is inflicted on its own.
It never seems to make a stop.
Estranged and when calling:
Renowned for the idle days we cherish.
Lay your head down in infinity on the bed forbidden on a rivalry
tingling through a vehicle that our hearts made.
It's stored in my mind.
I'm floating on a boat Hypnos made.
Tightening throats.
I am so undone.
Pining has another name.
It's known as guilt.
It's been a long time since I could fall asleep easily.
If I could stop repeating your name and have it reverse verses to a better opulent faith.....
We are adrift on a cloud.
Time is so precious.
The bits and memories are all I have to relax.
I prayed like a child
knees bent
beside the bed
for another day to become my everlasting dream.
Pull in the pillow tighter.
I wished it was you
as I whisper
darling,
goodnight.