Through the Window

All the times I pressed my face up against the glass...

seeing these captions through the windows.

Vague, meaningless sentences stacked in horizontal rows.

If I had put them all together, it might have made a better

introduction to strike attention.

None of this seems the slightest bit pleasing.

It wasn't always this way, yet I'm balancing on gravity.

So I stare through the porthole.

What is there to see?

Pessimistic frowns, cluttered heads, a lost soul carrying out chores.

The walls contain the entire world.

Everything that was my favorite space,

and the excruciating ways I had wasted my time.

Here I pace and doddle.

There, past that threshold:

It was frequently denied.

Motivation through a tall window.

My reflection reminds that there isn't any welcome.

The forceful grip pushes my feet.

I don't know if I can avoid the center of the universe 

by holding onto a doorway,

but I am steadily growing a tolerance against the physics of nature.

I will not enter, just look right through.

Maybe I can smudge the cleanliness with a message:

I was here.

My restrictions are just a tap on the windowpane,

and having anyone notice my visit is few and far between.

Jackass and Pony

I'll be a jackass if you are the pony.
Stubborn, determined, trotting pony.
I am stronger than you.
Even when the weight of the world drags me down.
Pretty pony has to be led everywhere-
you can't do a damn thing by yourself.
Nibble the dangling carrot,
be coddled so you don't lose control.
You may think I'm stupid,
but let's see who can be depended on.

Angry Pining

I wonder where it comes from....

Evincing lucid pining.

Cracks in doorways-

or out of the lowest places on earth.

Sneaking into corners-

or someplace so real and apparent...

My volatile longing-

pales the happy times and,

sinks me deeper into-

the preservation of frequent sadness.

All hail loyalty.

Even when it seems all is lost.

Make it so convincing that I have this great desire.

Shame on me.

I wish I could find that initiation and

I see no end.

Damn the words.

The worst degrading phrases that speak volumes-

are always there.

My horrendous corrupted slogan is so awful to speak-

or write...

 simply to admit....

But this remark appears,

when I remember what my heartbeat felt like-

and because I'm not dead,

that steady cadence is where I found those moments I can't accurately explain as to why...

As I interrogate my life,

why is there this utterance aimed direct to make me feel

something that should never be or heard by those who hurt you.

Cover your ears, I am about to break my rule.

The most indecent phrasing that weighs me down will certainly not dissipate.

I miss you.

Ego Monster

Ego monsters fence up dry emotions.
Clang the swords in this dusty path and kick up severe beatings-
because we won't know who will win a war over confidence.
Monsters already have experience in the attack,
but while they drop weaponry...
I see their weakness.
Arrogant sires can be defeated.
As the dust settles,
I see the ego monster was a man.

Pop Crash

Pop, crash...reconciliation.
As the light bulb peered over my head,
then exploded.
There was nothing wise about my consideration,
but to love those who walk away was my only nature.

If you hand out chances to reclaim virtue,
grudges fade away.
Ignoring the crossed fingers behind their back,
other shoe to drop-
any day.

Half-honest, slightly judging...
belligerent at any cost,
the only trust I had left for you-
pop, crash...my dear,
it is all lost.

Empty

Stumbling in the dark.
I fall asleep with a pencil in my hand-
Mumbling to myself.
Etching scratches into my arms.
I cannot believe in bliss,
although it does seem I have been awakened.
Enlightenment tends to leave me discouraged.
I always thought there would be something more-
but it's just empty.
We are empty containers waiting to be filled up.
This one is weightless, since there is nothing holding me down.
Throw me in the water.
I'll float.
Cut me open and make a birdhouse.
At least then, I would be useful.
I am not even a time capsule, since I choose to forget my past.
Life seems like a dreary, barren landscape waiting for flowering trees.
I'd like to be that sprout.

The Gamble

Shake the dice, taking a chance on our luck...
To win marvelous, victorious society.
It's a 50/50 chance of fate,
but you have to play to win.
Knowing the proposition,
tell me: will you fold?
Games of intentions or speculations of wrath.
I know the worth of the winnings.
Fear sends cowards running,
but the intrepid keep their eyes on the trophy.
As audacious dares spark curiosities,
behold the bestowal behind all doors.

Sunshine

Sunshine for your wicked day-

Gray clouds harness your sail.

Silver lining shivers some sharp ice-

but no need to worry.

Brightness comes from understanding all of our strange loves.

Embracing every dark flaw that may hinder their own light,

is the cause to draw back the curtain

and see there is always

sunshine if you are willing to let it in.

Tread Lightly

As read March 26th at 40 Story Radio Tower

http://fortystoryradiotower.com/



The tiptoed walk...

Tread lightly.

I barely touch the ground as I drift past.

This street needs some rest,

from the perpetual march of the incriminated.

So I will float on by without worries.

Who says you need wings to fly?

My peers can wear cemented shoes

if they do not care to join me in oblivion.

For I reach to the sky, and flex my feet...

a bemused ballet effortlessly graces my gate,

because I will not slouch in sorrow-

nor stomp the ground as if it was ever the cause for mishaps.

I merely attempt to hang onto memories,

both hands full-

as I avoid walking on the eggshells,

sometimes landmines,

or broken glass,

 just so I can get to where I am going.

Solitary Company

As read at 40 Story Radio Tower Episode 11. January 29, 2015



Solitude let's me breath,
but breathing in your exhale,
is the ironic satisfaction,
and celebrated victory-
against a stomping ground
that was well attuned to restless winds.
Violent and difficult to catch a moment without some breeze,
but without you,
this lonely carnival has dulled lights.

Crowds send emotions.
Long away I will live in my cage,
but for your wind-
valiant sacrifices
raise awareness
to your personally hidden lock and key.

If I stand alone, please hide by my side.

We can disappear together,
to places where eyes run on blind stupidity.
I will not give a damn.
Be a reason why the destruction of this soul-
will gladly face an ominous attack.

The Cold King

If my cursed majesty

can be human too,

give away seconds-

gamble away my life-

because he loves behind me.

The tense throne

still has comfort

but

lost warmth from heart fires will not

escape the cold.